Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I have a little secret....

Or maybe not?

Okay - I'm back on Nutrisystem and I've got 60 pounds set to loose as my goal. Just to catch you up to date - three years ago I did Nutrisystem and lost 40 pounds in only 4 months. It was so easy, the weight really did just fall right off and I had motivation from I don't know where - but it just worked?

Now back to present day, I realize that if I can get 40lbs off, I will look and feel better about myself, but according to the medical charts, I'm considered obese and I need to loose 60lbs! YIKES - talk about depressing! I know I'm a big girl, but they don't have to put it in such ugly words?

So here I am, Day 3 of Nutrisystem and I'm okay with it. I've been drinking my water and eating healthy - well besides that little piece of garlic toast I had last night - I really have been doing well.

My motivation is simple - VANITY! There I said it! I hate being FAT! I hate looking like this, and I hate that no matter what I wear, I still don't like the way I look! Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a bra in my size - uh - yea- it ain't easy! I have to visit the big-girl stores and then hope and pray to find something that fits or is at the very least - comfortable -!

Not to mention that I have absolutely no energy and my back constantly hurts! In all honesty, I weigh more now than I did when I was pregnant with Briley - and I had been on bed rest with two broken feet - uh yes - can you say 'Beached Whale'? LOL

Onward and Upward (so to speak)... today I enjoyed a breakfast of NS cereal which is quite tasty and a mixture of fresh fruit. I also remembered to have my Lowfat yogurt for a snack this morning and now I'm going to prepare my yummy lunch, which consists of a bowl of NS black bean tortilla soup and a side salad with diet dressing from McDonald's. Hey - it works for me!

Oh and I'm a little behind on my water consumption today, so I need to up that between now and this afternoon. It seems like I loose my momentum in the evening and the hours of 4-7 are my weakest times...I need to really work on focusing on something other than food, but how? That's when I'm cooking dinner for my family and I'm stuck in the kitchen cleaning up the mess... and 'sampling' a bit or two as I go... UGH!!
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