LIfe after dark....in our house

What exactly goes on in my house after dark? I know that I go to bed each night around the same time - 10:00 p.m. and I am generally asleep by 11:00 p.m... but much to my dismay there is some sort of activity going on all night in our house - more specifically the kitchen and laundry room - which happens to be less than 10 feet from my bedroom. UGH!!!

Now I ask you - how is it that when I clean up the kitchen after dinner, load the dishwasher, wipe down the counter tops and make certain that there are no food crumbs left for the would-be buggers - I get up in the morning to sink full of dishes and crumbs on the counters? Where do these come from? I'm pretty sure that I saw each of my children go to bed the night before - I don't leave them up and about to fend for themselves.

I think I've already shared with you that I'm not a very hard sleeper and I spend more hours awake at night than I do asleep, so I hear a lot of varying noises - which will drive me crazy until I can identify the source of each sound. Oh never fear - I can identify them all!!! Which in and of itself drives me crazy! (Yes, we've already determined that I have issues.)

Last night at 1:30 a.m. The garage door opens and closes and practically shakes me out of my bed! That noise can wake me from a dead sleep and leave my heart racing! Quickly, I determine that it was Brit coming in from work and I try to take a few deep breaths to settle my heart rate! UGH!! I wish she would use the front door - at least then I wouldn't have to recover from near heart failure!

Next I hear the pantry doors open and close - again, just Brit looking for a snack. Not too long after that, I hear the washing machine going - again- Brit doing her laundry for the next day. Hmmm???? Then I hear the clicking sound of the dryer - oh yes, it was Bailey's school uniform clothes that she left in the washer and luckily Brit discovered them and moved them to the dryer. We all know what a horrible morning it would have been for Bailey to have WET school clothes! Been There Done That! Finally, maybe I can get settled back down to sleep - uh - wrong!! The rain storm starts and the house is moving and creaking. UGH!! Where's the pillow? The winds have started blowing across the front porch and now I have to listen to the rocking chairs creaking and moving, as the rain is hitting the window screens and window panes - Will this night ever end?

Slowly I feel myself dropping back off to sleep and suddenly the cat jumps on the bed and startles me. Why the heck can't she sleep on someone else? Oh never fear - Brit is still up and sends me a TEXT message from her bedroom - Oh Good Grief , what now? SHE's HUNGRY! My response - 'tough - I'm sleeping'! Why must she send me a text message at 2 am? Seriously - are you bleeding? Are you lying in a ditch somewhere? Don't send me a @*&%$ text message at 2 AM!!!

Oh you guessed it - now I'm really awake and furious that she would expect me to get up and fix her a snack! OH what a brat! (I can think of a few other choice words, but I'll refrain!) At this point, I'm sure you've figured out where the sink full of dishes and counter of crumbs comes from?

Now I don't want you to think that Brit is the only culprit in this.... oh no.... on the weekend it is not unusual to find Bailey's empty coke cans, pop-tart wrappers and top ramon soup packages left on the counters. Her dishes don't ever make it back to the kitchen - I have to go in search of them when we are running short on forks and spoons! I'm sure I could run a tighter ship and roll a few heads, but this is not a battle that I choose to fight! (I would much rather fight the battle of low necklines and short hems... if ya' know what I mean? That's a topic for another day.)

Continuing on - I am lying in bed - tossing and turning - trying to push the cat off of my feet and then it starts! What you ask? THE SNORING! If I didn't know better I would think a freight train was moving through the neighborhood. Oh it was a freight train alright- A 250lb, 6'4" gray headed one - try rolling that over - it's not easy!

If I'm not awake to hear all of these noises, who will be awake to hear them? Who will operate the all night laundry service? Who will load the dirty dishes into the dishwasher at 3 am? I give up! It's not meant for me to sleep!