Friday, April 23, 2010

Totally Awesome Tie Dye

Nothing in my life is ever easy or according to plan! The only thing I can predict is total chaos - Always! Last night was no exception!

Here's a brief recap of what's been going on this week ---All week long Briley has been singing and rehearsing a song that she and her class were going to perform this morning at school for their assembly. The song was for a pep-rally of sorts before the TAKS tests next week at school. All week long we've been serenaded by the tunes of "I Will Survive" and different words! It really was a cute rendition, but I was ready to see this morning get here and the practice singing to stop!


Now lets jump back to about noon yesterday.... I suddenly remember that we have to be at the High School for Bailey's FFA Banquet at 7:00pm. Okay, not a problem...it's nothing that she has to dress up for and we'll get dinner out of it, so I consider that a win-win situation.

Oh but wait ---this is where the chaos starts building--- around 2pm yesterday I received an email from Briley's teacher reminding the parents about the Friday morning assembly and NOW they are asking the kids to DRESS UP in 70's attire! (UGH!!!)

You know what this means don't you? It means I have to scramble around to find something that will pass off as a fashion statement from the 1970's! That really wasn't my generation and the only fond memories I have of dressing in the 70's were wearing my matching Geranimals!!! Needless to say this required a bit of conversation with Briley, the minute she stepped off of the bus and called me at work.

The good news is that she already had her own ideas of what she wanted to wear; as far as she was concerned anything tie dyed would work and something with a peace sign would be good too. Hmmmmm? I might just be able to pull this off???

Soooooo.....on my way home last night I stopped by the Big W and grabbed a white t-shirt and a box of Tie Dye stuff. (Oh yes... another $20 excursion for a whopping 10 minutes of wear!) I'm not a fan of Tie Dye... I've never been a fan of it and I've never even attempted it, but what the heck? I like to live dangerously!!


It is now 6:15pm...Bailey has just gotten home from softball practice and is jumping in and out of the shower to get ready for her FFA thing, Briley is running around the house whining about not wanting to go to the FFA thing, my husband is standing in his underwear ironing his clothes (what the heck?), and I'm in the kitchen wrestling with a shirt, rubberbands, and this tie dye mess.... that is all over my hands, dripping down my arms and staining my newly manicured nails - because NO I don't have any plastic gloves? (ROLLING EYES)

I finally convince Briley that she wants to go to the Banquet because they are having her favorite, Bar-B-Q and if she stayed home all she was going to get would be a corn dog on a stick!! :) Now the battle is to get BRILEY dressed in something that we all agree upon - which just so happened to be something that needed ironing! (HANGING MY HEAD IN DEFEAT!) .....remember I'm still standing at the kitchen sink with dye dripping all over me.....

Now it's about 6:30 and I've decided to just call the tie dye shirt DONE! I seal it up in a Ziploc bag and begin my efforts to clean myself up and wash the dye off of my hands. UH... it won't come off??? So I pull out the Clorox Cleanup and start spraying my hands....all the while I'm planning on wearing what I have on from work, to the Banquet! YES and I'm squirting bleach all over myself - and my shirt was black? Well what do you think happened???? LOL

Ahhhhh, I tricked you!! NOTHING happened - no black shirts were harmed in my hand bleaching episode. I really don't know how I pulled that off, but I'm just going to go with it!

Ever so quickly, we all appear dressed and ready for the Banquet. OK really...it's not much of a Banquet, but I guess that sounds better than saying a Bar-B-Q dinner with FFA Awards? Off we go to the High School, my hands are still a little purple in places.

After 2 1/2 hours of FFA fun, we headed home - it's now 9:30pm and I still have another 2 hours of waiting up before I can wash the dye out of the shirt and throw it in the dryer. Finally...the time has come and I can wash this dye mess out and figure out if the shirt will work or if I was going to need to make another run to the BIG W for another white shirt; I had already started digging around in my closets looking for another white shirt that might work in a pinch!

Surprise! Surprise! The shirt turned out better than expected and I was once again a totally rad mom! (ok, so that's my opinion?)

Brit was able to contribute a peace sign necklace to the ensemble and Briley was happy with her 70's outfit. WHEW...another meltdown averted!!!


After I fight the crazy wet-road traffic to get to school this morning and race to get there with my camera in hand, I noticed that not everyone was dressed up in the 70's attire. Actually, there were only a few kids that even bothered? UGH???? Why do my kids have to be 'the ones' to do everything their teachers tell them?? HA HA HA!

The good news is that I SURVIVED it all and only have a slight nervous twitch this morning!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Chirping Birds and Cow Pastures


Eight years ago this summer, we moved into our newly constructed home sitting on a hill in the middle of a cow pasture. Apparently some land developer got a great idea to offer Grandpa Jones money for 50 acres of his cow pasture and Grandpa Jones jumped at the offer, since he knew the land was basically worthless and not good for anything! Ironically, said developer had the last laugh because he figured out a way to build 40 homes on large lots of land and convince city folk to move to the country and buy their own piece of happiness!

Fast forward a few months and we were the city folk!! We had high hopes of cultivating our yard and developing a lush green landscape with big beautiful trees and lavish flower beds. It seemed as though gardening opportunities were endless.

Then reality struck - the only living green things on our property were a couple of crab apple trees along the fence line and the tons and tons of grasshoppers! I wish I had a picture to share with you, these grasshoppers were at least 2 inches long - seriously- and would eat any and all plants we tried to grow. Every step we took was on top of a grasshopper, think biblical plague - you won't be far off from what we experienced the first couple of summers living in the cow pasture.

Oh how I desperately wanted green grass and trees - we planted several pounds of grass seed the first couple of years we lived there and then it would promptly rain and all of our grass seed went floating down the neighborhood ditch!

Another tribulation we suffered through was the horrid caliche dirt. If you know anything about dirt you know that this stuff is like gumbo when wet and cement when dry! It's not at all easy to grow anything, other than weeds! Never fear, we forged ahead and planted shrubs around the house and eventually some grass seed has taken hold and we have something green that needs to be mowed on a weekly basis. At this point, I really wouldn't consider our green stuff grass, but the weeds sorta blend in where the grass leaves off and when it's mowed, no one really knows the difference. Maybe???

Next up I wished for birds...now I had in mind red birds, blue birds... you know nice friendly birds that will eat bugs and build their nests and come back each year to enjoy the birdseed you put out for them. UH NO! That's not what I got! I got these evil feathered beings!
OH don't misunderstand - they come back each year and build their nests in the exact same spot as the year before! They are just nasty! I don't know any other way to say it - but ICK! These are BARN SWALLOWS and they might as well be attack birds! This is the time of year when I would like to be sitting and rocking on my front porch, but instead I'm dodging these dive bombing birds! The continue to build their nest in the corner of our front porch, by the front door.
They look so sweet and innocent don't they! WRONG! PURE EVIL! I'm sure God had something purposeful in mind when he created these birds, but at this point I'm not sure what that would be, other than just a huge nuisance! Each year I try to catch their nests being built and before they lay eggs, but these little demons are quick!
One day I can check the porch and they are just starting to gather the mud for their nest, and the next day there is a nest full of eggs! UGH! Now how can I knock that down? I can't! I do have a heart, but still - as soon as those little buggers are flying on their own, I'm cleaning their nest down. If I don't catch it quick enough, they will lay another batch of eggs....these barn swallows never go away!!!

Not only do they lay 7 or 8 eggs at a time, but they are LOUD when they protect their young!! This morning as I was getting ready for work, I heard these little evil darlings chirping quite loudly; I'm not sure what was causing the problem, but I'm assuming it had something to do with the fact that I had opened the door and let the cat out... HAHAHA... cause I'm mean like that!
One our our cats will sit at the door and try to climb up the window panes to get to them - it's quite comical to watch, and one of these days I think I might just cheer her on if she catches one.

So now you know, my sunny disposition is all because I awake to sweet little chirping birds flying around our in our green lush lawn and nesting in our beautiful aged oak trees - NOT!! My husband has decided to just start pruning the crab apple trees, at least they look like we want them to be there? It's a never ending process - we water, we fertilize, we mow, and still no green grass, just more green weeds! We are learning to adjust our expectations.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

I feel a rant coming on.....

** 1. Diet soft drinks
I'm not naive or living in a cave - I realize that part of my personal weight struggles are centered around the amount of sugar I ingest from my morning Sonic Coke, but seriously is a REGULAR coke any worse or better than a DIET Coke? Recent studies have suggested that the diet drinks are tricking our bodies and in reality they are hurting our metabolism, thus creating more weight gain.

I can sorta see how this theory might be accurate; the past several months I have been making a mental note of the types of people I witness purchasing diet drinks in convenience stores. These folks are HUGE! We aren't talking about some skinny soccer mom and her diet coke, I'm talking about OBESE!!! So my own personal theory is that maybe the diet drink isn't doing you as much good as you think??? I guess my frustration over this was tapped off this morning while standing in line behind a VERY LARGE woman buying a Diet Dr. Pepper and a package of chocolate donuts! Uh yea... that's a real commitment to better health! Drink more diet drinks, surely it's bound to help? HUGE EYE ROLLING MOMENT~

So leave me alone - I want the REAL THING! Obviously real Coke isn't causing so much weight gain for me personally...I can still fit behind the steering wheel and don't require a motorized shopping cart to venture through Wal-Mart!

**2. TAX DAY
My husband and I go to work each and every day, we don't require any federal assistance to feed, clothe, and shelter our children...which by the way were all born on private insurance and paid for by US, not Uncle Sam! UH folks... he's really not your uncle! You don't have any inheritance, get off your lazy butt and get a job!

Each year we dread tax season and how much money we are going to be required to pay. Neither my husband nor myself are off on expensive vacations and jet setting around the world because we make tons of money. We don't have a driveway full of jet skies, motor boats, and RV's. My closets don't have mink coats hanging in them, and I certainly don't own any bling bling that needs to be covered by insurance!

We are MIDDLE CLASS AMERICA! We pay our bills, we shop at discount stores, our kids don't wear $100 tennis shoes and believe it or not, we don't eat steak every night! It's a hearty portion of Hamburger Helper on a good day! LOL So why oh why are we punished for just being normal and providing for our family.

Neither one of us came from a priviledged life in that we attended some Ivy League Institution - we simply got jobs! Showed up each day and worked our way up through the ranks! Yes, we are very blessed to have good paying jobs, but our jobs didn't fall out of the sky....we got off our butts and went looking for them!

HOLD ON.... does that mean hard work doesn't pay??? Well obviously it does pay - it's pays for lazy slobs to continue to reproduce and have babies paid for with my tax dollars and then expect that non-existant UNCLE to provide for those babies. Oh, and then once they've fed their little darlings with their food stamps, they have plenty of money left to buy their cigarettes and guess what? They get cancer and that same great UNCLE will pay for their cancer treatments? Hmmm??? Notice a system at work here?

OH I could go on forever with this rant...but I'll spare you my angst... it will get ugly!

I feel I should really end my ranting post now - I've stirred up enought anxiety to last a while! What's your rant for the day? Go ahead... it's okay... we're all friends here - Rant Away!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

A Sunday Afternoon Jaunt

Hoping to beat the Sunday afternoon blahs, Briley and I struck out on a road trip! We are just so exciting and spontaneous like that! Two wild girls on the move... I'm sure every 40 year old is jealous that I have an 8 year old as my best friend!NOT!!!

So where did we go? Well Briley and I ended up at the Caldwell Zoo in Tyler. This was really a very nice little afternoon drive and quite a pleasant experience. The wildflowers were starting to bloom along the highway, the dogwood trees were budding out
and the azaleas were well on their way to their full burst of color
...all of these thing I have missed due to living in the middle of a cow pasture!

The most impressive part of all of the Zoo's greenery was the massive wisteria covering a walkway - not only were the blooms gorgeous, but the aroma was wonderful!

Moving along with our zoo visit, Briley insisted on petting the goats, now obviously she didn't get 'goat petting' out of her system, the week before when she spent several days at the County Fair petting all of the livestock she could ever want to touch and handle. Oh well... whatever makes her happy!





It really was a lot of fun to be able to get so close and personal with the animals. This zoo experience is much different than what I remember as a kid, when there were fences and glass between you and the exhibits.





Briley's favorite part of the entire trip was going through the Bird Walkabout exhibit. She could feed the birds with a seed stick and really get close and pet them.



Who Knew??? A popsicle stick smeared with peanut butter and bird seed could offer so much entertainment?? :)


If you ever find yourself in the Tyler area, you should definitely check out the Caldwell Zoo. The admission is very inexpensive, the parking is easy and accessible (free parking) and there weren't large crowds hoarding the viewing area of the exhibits; we actually got to see all that we wanted to see without some pushy fat kid jumping in front of us! LOL

Monday, April 5, 2010

This Little Piggy Didn't Make It To The Market...


This little piggy went straight to the processing plant!



We aren't exactly sure what happened this year, but Bailey and the pig were both off of their game? Bailey didn't place well enough in her class to make the Sale, but that was really okay with us - we already had big plans for the porker and OUR plans were for her to go straight to the slaughter house and then straight to my freezer!


The expressions on both of their faces tell it all - neither Bailey or the pig were 'feeling' it that hour??? :)

All is not lost, we did discover a new fashion accessory that is sure to start a whole new trend in the Swine Show world.... A blinged out belt with a brush placed in the back pocket, for that unruly swine hair in the show ring.... or the occasional poop that needs to brushed off the pig's behind (while the judge isn't looking, of course?).

Not sure where we are going from here with our animal adventures? I hear talk around the dining room table that there is Heifer somewhere in the next county that has Bailey's name on it? Now Briley wants in on the action and has decided that she can raise and show Rabbits? Uhh....not too sure about that one either?? OY Vey!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

This Little Piggy Went To The Fair (version 2010)


It's that time of year again...time for the County Fair. Again this year, Bailey is showing a pig and this year she has chosen a Hampshire Pig. We are all proud that this pig didn't get sick like last year's bacon in the makin', but this Hampshire pig hasn't been without it's challenges. Apparently, she's quite moody - the pig not Bailey - and won't eat on a regular basis. We've learned all about different types of oats and concoctions that are supposed to make this porker want to eat.

The latest theory on fattening up a pig came from yet another 'pig pro' that suggested we use powdered baby formula mixed with water and somewhere along the way we were supposed to pour in a bottle of straight corn oil? All of this is mixed with the regular high dollar pig food and should fatten this girl up! I say we should just save the money on pig food and feed her the same stuff I eat everyday, 'cause it's obviously fattening me up - with little or no effort!

Apparently all of the suggestions have worked and Miss Piggy is fat and ready for the Swine Show this afternoon. She made the weight class we were hoping for and at last count, I hear she weighed in at a whopping 237 pounds!

I should have pictures of Bailey and the pig later today. So hopefully I can get those loaded for your viewing pleasure tomorrow.

Stay tuned for the next pig story which will hopefully end with ...This Little Piggy Went to the Market!

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